God Ain't Blind Read online

  “Well, she is your child, Rhoda. You need to be there for her no matter what she does. I respect that. I’m glad you told me in advance. When is she coming?” My insides had already begun to tighten into a knot. The last person I ever wanted to see again was Jade.

  “I’m not sure. Last week she ran off to Mexico to be with some bullfighter that she’d hooked up with during spring break in Cancún. My daddy went down there to try and talk some sense into her hard head. It didn’t do a damn bit of good, though. That poor little Mexican boy won’t know what bullfightin’ is until he locks horns with my wild child. And it’s goin’ to happen sooner or later.”

  “What is she going to do back here? Richland, Ohio, is pretty dull compared to New Orleans and Cancún, Mexico.” The knot that had formed in my stomach now felt like it was the size of a basketball.

  “That’s a good question. I called up her big brother down in Mobile. He offered to take control and suggested I ship her to him. But Julian’s in a new relationship, and I don’t want to burden him with something this big. You remember my daddy’s white relatives? Rednecks to the bone, but they are good people. Aunt Lola and Uncle Johnny told me to send her to them so they could whip her into shape. Lord knows, if anybody can do that, it’s them.”

  “She should go live with them,” I advised.

  “I love my white relatives, but they have white friends and white relatives that still think the old way. The Klan way. If I sent her to Alabama and somethin’ happened to her, I’d never forgive myself. Besides, they live in a trailer park, with nothin’ but dim-witted, snaggletoothed peckerwoods in the vicinity. Jade wouldn’t last a day in a situation like that.”

  “Rhoda, you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do.”

  “I love my daughter more than I love life itself, but I know how she is now. I will never forget what she did to you. And no matter what, I won’t let her come between us. I promise you that.”

  Rhoda’s words were a comfort, but I knew that Jade’s return was going to cause all kinds of new problems in our relationship. “Thanks. I appreciate hearing that. I guess I’d better get up out of here and be on my way,” I said, trying to sound cheerful. “Just do one thing for me.”

  “What’s that?”

  “When you find out for sure when she’s coming, would you please let me know as soon as possible? I’d like to be prepared.” Now it sounded like the life was leaving my voice, too.

  “I will,” Rhoda assured me, with a groan.

  She hung up first. I slammed my telephone back into its cradle on the wall so hard, a cup on the counter below it fell over.

  CHAPTER 20

  I sat in my car, with the window rolled down, so I could get some fresh air for ten minutes before I started the motor. Thanks to the unpleasant news that Rhoda had called to report a few minutes ago, my day was off to a bad start. And there was nothing I could do about it. Taking the day off from work was not an option. I knew that if I stayed home, all I would do was mope around the house and try to figure out how I was going to deal with Jade this time around.

  Knowing Jade as well as I did now, I knew that she was going to torment me in some way. She was already doing that again. She was the only person I knew of who didn’t even have to be in the same state with me to aggravate me. Just hearing her name was enough!

  “I will not have anything to do with that girl,” I said out loud, socking the side of my steering wheel with my fist. I had to stop myself before I got too worked up. Had I reached a point where I was overacting? I asked myself. After all, even when Jade returned, I didn’t have to see or talk to her. However, I knew that as long as I associated with Rhoda, her daughter would be in the picture on some level. And as small as Richland was, it would be hard to avoid her.

  I let out a mighty sigh, checked my makeup and hair in my rearview mirror, and said the Lord’s Prayer in my mind. Well, I told myself, Jade’s presence will dominate my mind, so I won’t dwell on my problems with Pee Wee as much. I didn’t know if that was a good thing or a bad thing, because as far as I was concerned, both problems were equally upsetting.

  Once I pulled out into traffic, I drove like I was in a funeral procession. Then I meandered down side streets on the other side of town, trying to give myself a little more time to organize my thoughts. Disturbing images were swirling around in my head like oil swirling around in hot water. A couple of times I had to slap the side of my head to minimize my thoughts, but that backfired, because then I had to deal with a headache, too. Other motorists, who didn’t honk at me to increase my speed, passed me like salmon swimming upstream.

  As soon as I got to work, I locked myself in my office. I called Louis’s number and left a message. After a half-hour staff meeting at nine, I returned to my office and locked myself in again. For ten minutes, I read Scripture from the Bible that I kept in my desk drawer. Despite the fact that I hadn’t been to church in weeks, I still tried to address my spiritual needs. That helped me relax a lot. After I had read some of my favorite passages, I started to flip through the Bible, looking for something that would really shake me up. I started to read a Psalm of David and had just got to the part that said, “The Lord is my shepherd,” when a gentle knock on my door startled me. I took the interruption as God’s way of trying to get my attention back. He wanted me to know that it was time to get my butt back to church. I wondered if it would help if I brought Pee Wee with me.

  “Yes? What is it?” I asked, glaring at the door. I snapped my Bible shut and returned it to the drawer.

  The door opened slowly, and a moon face peered into my office. It was Gloria Watson. “Annette, Toni baked some coffee cake last night. Would you like a piece?” This woman had treated me like shit for years, but now you would have thought that she was my best friend. Had I known that a proposed free catered lunch every Monday was going to be this effective, I would have done it a lot sooner.

  “Yes, I would,” I said, rising as Gloria maneuvered her large frame around the door and stepped inside. She wore a yellow muumuu. It hurt my eyes to look at it. A sharp pain shot through my stomach because it brought back a painful memory. I used to own a muumuu just like it. Jade used to tell me that I looked like a school bus every single time she saw me in it.

  “It’s so good,” Gloria told me, handing me a saucer with a sliver of coffee cake that looked like somebody had been playing with it. “You want some coffee to go with it?”

  “No, this is fine,” I said, giving her a smile. She smiled back. “Thank you, Gloria. Your hair looks nice in braids. And that yellow muumuu is…you.”

  “Girl, that’s what everybody keeps telling me. But I’m telling you, y’all won’t be seeing me in these muumuus too much longer. I’m tired of looking like I got on a colored bedsheet. I won’t need them.”

  “Oh? Are you on a diet?” I asked.

  “Hell no! Diets don’t work for me. I’m going to start making my own clothes, and the last thing I’m going to bother with is more of these damn muumuus,” she said sharply, slapping the side of her voluminous dress. “I’ll be making me some of them sharp skirts and blouses like you wear now. Girl, my wardrobe is just screaming for a makeover! And since the Tiger’s Den don’t sell no cute outfits, I decided to start making my own.”

  It seemed like Gloria was becoming me. The woman I used to be, not the woman I had become. This was the first time I’d seen her in braids and a loud yellow muumuu at the same time. And the style of her braids was almost identical to mine. I agreed with whoever it was who said, “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery….” But when a woman like Gloria Watson started to imitate me, I knew I had to keep my eyes and ears open. I knew I had to get back to church. If Gloria was up to something, too, it was going to take some serious spiritual devotion to keep me afloat.

  “Annette, are you all right?”

  “Huh? Oh yeah, I’m fine, Gloria. I just lost my train of thought for a few moments, that’s all,” I mouthed, my tongue almost tripping over my words
. I had almost forgotten that Gloria Watson was still in the same room with me.

  “I was just wondering. I was getting concerned at the way you started staring at me with that strange look on your face,” Gloria said, with a strange look on her face.

  “Oh, it’s nothing,” I assured her, with a casual wave. “I was just thinking about something crazy that my daughter said last night.” I cleared my throat and sniffed. “Gloria, would you do me a favor and let everybody know that we are having Yankee pot roast for lunch on Monday?”

  Gloria’s face lit up like a neon sign. “All right,” she said breathlessly. Then she made such a sudden and sharp turn that she almost fell while trying to get out of my office so fast. Just knowing that my relationship with my subordinates was looking brighter made me feel somewhat better. That and the fact that when I heard back from Louis, I was going to set up a lunch date for today if possible. He seemed like the perfect distraction I needed to divert my attention away from Pee Wee and Jade.

  CHAPTER 21

  After I’d eaten the coffee cake and got settled in, I called Pee Wee at the barbershop and told him what Rhoda had called me up to tell me before I left the house.

  “Shit! Jade’s comin’ back to Ohio? Fuck me!” he hissed. “I thought that wench was gone for good. Well, I’m tellin’ you now, I don’t want her in our house or around us or our daughter. I love Rhoda and Otis to death, but I am not ready to deal with that girl again after that stunt she pulled on you last year.”

  “I am glad to hear you say that because I feel the same way,” I assured him. “I don’t know if I will ever feel comfortable around her again or trust her.”

  “Well, I know I won’t ever feel comfortable around her or trust her again, and I’ll tell her so to her face. The girl is bad news and always was.” Pee Wee paused and mumbled a string of cuss words under his breath. “Exactly when is she goin’ to be back here?”

  “I’m not sure. Rhoda said she’d let me know as soon as she could. It must be soon, because she’s already shipped some of her things back.”

  “Maybe we should move over to Erie. Uncle Arlester has been beggin’ me for years to move back over there and help him run his barbershop. He wants me to take it over when he retires in a couple of years.”

  “Like hell!” I hollered. “Nobody is going to run me away from my own home. If that’s what you want to do, you do it. But Charlotte and I are staying right here.”

  “I’ll talk to you more about this when I get home this evenin’. I got customers comin’ in.”

  “We won’t need to talk about this when you get home. I have nothing else to say about this. What do you want for dinner?”

  “Don’t worry about me. I’ll stop off somewhere and get me somethin’ to eat. I don’t like bein’ around you when you’re like this.”

  I huffed and hung up. While I was tapping my fingers on the top of my desk, Louis returned my call. It was such a relief to hear from somebody who had nothing to say that would upset me.

  “Annette, did I call at a bad time? You sound real bothered about something.”

  “I am. As a matter of fact, I just might go back home and get back in my bed and pull the covers up over my head,” I admitted. I was immediately sorry for being so blunt with him. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to burden you with my problems.”

  “I’ll let you go. We can talk at another time.”

  “Wait! Don’t hang up. I was going to call you again, anyway. Is the complimentary lunch still on for Monday?” It felt so good to talk to him that I didn’t want him to get off the phone. “I hope it is, because my folks got real excited about it when I told them in our staff meeting this morning.”

  “It sure is. Say, how about lunch today? You and me. I can tell you about some more of my selections that are not on the menu I gave to you, and we can get to know each other a little better.”

  “I don’t know,” I muttered. “I have to check my calendar.” I was glad that he was so forceful. Even though I had planned to invite him to have lunch with me today, I was glad that he was the one who had taken the initiative.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be that forward. But…I like you, Annette. I liked you the minute I laid eyes on you. I don’t know what you think about me, but I’d really like to get to know you better, whether we do business or not.”

  “I’m married, Louis.”

  “Oh. I should have known. Your husband is the luckiest man in this town.”

  “Thank you, Louis. I needed that.”

  “Do you think he’d mind if I take you to lunch today? Strictly business.”

  “Lunch? No, I don’t think he would mind that at all. I have lunch with a lot of the people I do business with, and it’s never bothered him. Where would you like to go?” Shit! This was turning out better than I had expected.

  “You like Italian? My favorite restaurant, other than my own, is Antonosanti’s. It’s very secluded, so we can enjoy a nice meal, a bottle of Chianti, and discuss a possible working relationship.”

  “That sounds really nice, Louis. I’d like that, because it’s one of my favorite places, too.”

  “I’ll make a reservation, and I’ll pick you up from your office at noon.”

  “Uh, if you don’t mind, I’d rather meet you at Antonosanti’s, in the lobby,” I told him. “Your picking me up here might be a little awkward.”

  Louis took a while to respond. “I thought you said you do lunch with a lot of the people you do business with.”

  “Yes, but…they don’t look like you. Louis, you know how women like to make something out of nothing when a handsome young man is in the picture. And some of the worst ones work for me. All my other business associates look like various versions of Santa Claus. Even the black ones.” I laughed; he didn’t.

  “I see,” he said, sounding disappointed. “Then I’ll meet you in the lobby around noon. And, Annette, I’ll try to behave myself, but if you look as good as you did when I first saw you, I won’t be responsible for my actions.”

  “Now you stop that!” I scolded. Louis got so quiet, I thought that I had scared him off. But when he laughed, I felt better. “All right. I will see you at noon in the lobby at Antonosanti’s,” I told him.

  “Most definitely,” he replied. I almost dropped the telephone when he made a kissing noise. For the second time, I felt apprehensive about Louis Baines, but I didn’t listen to my instincts this time, either. I was already convinced that he was what I needed to help me keep my mind off all the other things breathing down my neck.

  I had so many thoughts dancing around in my head that I could barely think straight. But one thing was for sure: this man was cooking up something other than a Yankee pot roast for me. And as long as it wasn’t my goose, it was all good.

  CHAPTER 22

  With the wide variety of pasta, seafood, and meat dishes on the lunch menu at Antonosanti’s restaurant, I had the nerve to order a Caesar salad. And that was so out of character for me.

  Carlo, one of the cute young Italian waiters, who knew me by my first name, stared at me, with his mouth hanging open. “Is everything okay, Annette?” he asked, looking more than a little concerned. And it was no wonder. This man had been taking my orders for years. He was used to me ordering a steak and some pasta every time I dropped in. Even after my weight loss, I still enjoyed a good steak and some pasta, but in moderation. “No steak and pasta for you today?”

  “Not today, Carlo. Thank you for asking.” I gave him a wink. I didn’t know why I did that, because it didn’t mean anything. Well, it didn’t mean anything to me, but it did to Carlo, with his meddlesome self.

  He glanced from me to Louis. Then he looked back at me and winked. I was a little embarrassed to know that a waiter suspected that I was up to no good. I wasn’t so sure that he was wrong. Especially since I didn’t protest when Louis grabbed my hand and squeezed and kissed it right in front of Carlo.

  “A salad will be fine,” I told him.

 
“Just a salad?” Louis asked, with a raised eyebrow. “Are you sure?”

  “Yes, I am sure,” I responded, beginning to get annoyed. I didn’t like to be badgered about anything, especially when it came to food.

  The way Carlo and Louis were looking at each other and then me, you would have thought that they were in cahoots. I couldn’t figure out what it was about men that made them want to stuff women with food. A salad was all I wanted, and that was all I ordered. For one thing, I was not hungry. It had not been that long since I’d eaten the coffee cake that Gloria had given to me. Nowadays when I got nervous, I lost my appetite. Besides, I wanted to leave a lot of room in my gradually shrinking stomach for all the wine I planned to consume as soon as Carlo set it on our table.

  Another reason I couldn’t eat much was that I was somewhat nervous about being out in public with a man other than my husband. For years, the only men other than my husband that I had been seen alone with in public were my daddy and Reverend Upshaw.

  Carlo was not going to give up on me. “Let me tell you about our specials today—”

  Louis startled the waiter by cutting him off in midsentence. “Hey, Pisan! If the lady says all she wants is a salad, that’s all she wants. Now will you please do your job?” Louis smiled as he addressed Carlo, but Carlo got the message. He gave Louis a dirty look before he left our table in a flash. Then Louis turned to me. “Are you sure that a Caesar salad is all you want to eat?” he asked again, looking at me with his brows furrowed.

  I nodded and let out an impatient sigh. “I’m sure.” I thought he got the message when I concluded with a sharp roll of my eyes.

  We occupied a booth facing the bar, but I didn’t have to worry about anybody I knew seeing me. For one thing, most of the people I knew didn’t want to pay the high prices that Antonosanti’s charged, and that kept them away. Secondly, my mother’s restaurant, the Buttercup, was one of Antonosanti’s biggest competitors. The black folks in Richland felt obligated to support her. But she didn’t attract just the black folks with her sweet potato pies, neck-bone casseroles, barbecued gizzards, and chicken dipped in buttermilk and flour and then deep-fried in butter. More than half of the people who patronized the Buttercup were white. As a matter of fact, the entire Antonosanti family often dined at the Buttercup. And that tickled my mother to death.